[UNCLE TUB]

Well, you ain't got to read your bible to know,
No, you ain't got to read your bible to know,
There's sinners most everywhere you go.

Well, there's amoral women shoppin' at the mall
In their trendy kitten heels, shoppin' at the mall.
Underneath them leggings, they ain't wearin' nothin' at all!

And they're a-gabbin' at the salon where they get their nails done,
They get their nethers waxed and put they hair up in a bun.
Ah, they just goin' out to have a bit o' fun!

And you'll see them at the club tonight, rollin' in the mud,
They're stranglin' the christ child, rollin' in the mud.
Oh, you better listen to your Uncle Tub!

Well, you ain't got to read your bible to know,
No, you ain't got to read your bible to know,
There's sinners most everywhere you go.

And the Dr. wields his stethoscope, and it's cold against your chest.
He listens real hard, and it's cold against your chest.
Aww, Dr., when ya gonna give that shit a rest??

For he can purge a foul humor, and excise a cancer too.
He can remove an inflamed spleen, and excise a cancer too.
Aww, but he can't get the devil outta you!

SOLO: Electric guitars

[UNCLE TUB]
I'm gonna tell you one more time, now:

[UNCLE BUCKET]
You tell us, Tub.

[UNCLE TUB]
Well, you ain't got to read your bible to know,

[UNCLE BUCKET]
What's that you say?

[UNCLE TUB]
No, you ain't got to read your bible to know,

[UNCLE BUCKET]
Heh, heh, heh.

[UNCLE TUB]
There's sinners most everywhere you go.

[UNCLE BUCKET]
Well, they call me Uncle Bucket
Put your balls in my top.
You know I'm Uncle Bucket
Out my mouth they gonna pop.
Go on, put your balls in my top.

That's right I'm Uncle Bucket,
and we all gonna run.
Lord knows I'm Uncle Bucket,
and I'm buckets of fun.
Straight to hell we gonna run.

Hell yes, I'm Uncle Bucket
Balls is poppin' out my mouth
Sure as shit I'm Uncle Bucket,
A ball is what I'm all about
Them balls is poppin' out my mouth,

A ball is what I'm all about,
Them balls is poppin' out my mouth

[BYSTANDER]
Oh, tell me, Uncle!!